Letter to ‘Self’

I should start with the customary Greetings, Hello, Dearest, To Myself etc. But let’s just avoid formalities and logic when you’re talking to yourself.

So, this is to you.
Yes, I live inside you.
You and I, in a symbiotic relationship.
Sometimes, this body/skeleton doesn’t help you wander much and very often it’s because of you that I can’t lift ‘mybody’ and ‘myself’ to work in sync to do something productive.

So, I thought it’s better to talk to you and get things cleared. It should be done Now, in all its Urgency because it’s ‘Critically Important’, more important than Jordan’s willingness to talk to Heer.

It’s highly unlikely that you and I can take a decision. But it is highly likely that you and I will do something not heard, thought and done before. This is the only reason that I feed you daily.

But currently I don’t know if the matter is worse or good things are going to happen. This uneasiness, creepy, and foreign feeling is hard to decipher. I am glad that you’re doing really well. One day, I’ll read this years later and you’ll laugh at how I addressed you. Everything is childish, immature and stupid. But let’s do it anyway!

Now that you know that I’m half serious and half creative, let’s address the elephant in our very own inner room. Fear.

Fear?

Never heard of it before, you must be thinking. But you know what I’m talking about.
Dark times, Bad times, Sleepless nights, Feeling Nauseated, In Need of Something, Suddenly hungry, Suddenly Not-feeling-like-to-eat, Smoke, Beer, Sex, Let’s-write, Why-Not-Read-Something-Good.

All these are your tools to handle this Fear.
It’s very much Real. But some people, sorry, educated-psychiatrist call it the ‘Inability to identify what is Real’ in this situation.

I know but how to contest them. They must be Right. They should better be!
Let’s not debate their scientific correctness. We both have a different Fight to Fight.

So, what I was saying was. When do you plan to address this Fear?

Let them LEAVE. Anyway their presence don’t matter.
Let them HATE. Anyway you’re not asking people to love you. And you’ve a high level of definition of Love. It’s not like picking a-good-looking-object from a supermarket. Possession is not love. You know that.

Let them A….Wait. Wait a minute.
Again, this is a ‘tool’, ‘technique’, and ‘a-way’ to beat about the bush.
When do They come in picture?
That’s your problem. You talk about yourself and then include Them. Why? You don’t have to do it.
You shouldn’t. Again, you Fear to explain yourself by leaving out Them in Your Definitions.

And now you’ll say that it was They who shaped Your Mind through which I write. Yes, it is. But we decided to un-become, un-learn, un-love. Didn’t we?

We decided to intellectually masturbate? Didn’t we?

But that’s not the whole point. Let me tell you what. Either leave this Mind or this Body.
Something has to be done.

And it is to be done immediately.
In no time.
‘You Know the Problem. But You don’t have the Solution.’ is not-an-option anymore. Let me help you.

You should re-invent and accept yourself daily.
Avoid being Alive in those Fears and Dark spaces. You’re a happy pal.
A good-looking (For yourself) and a boy with golden heart.

Trust me, write good things about yourself whenever this Fear strikes back. You’ll understand yourself better. You’ll reach a new dimension and depth of yourself.

Be proud of who-you-are. Accept no one’s definition of yourself even if you don’t have your own.
Don’t let any Fear trap you and suffocate you to death.

Let’s live happily together. No! This Happy-Happy is too much. Let’s live closely in-touch with ourselves.

I promise.
Do you?

Your admirer,
Your love.

Always.

@pkscanvas

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